GASTRONORMOUS

The Hubs went out to walk the dog last Saturday morning and came back in carrying a big butternut squash. Before I could be all like, “wha…?” he explained that he had stopped by the farmer’s market, where he spotted the beaut’ and bought it on a whim. As he beamed at his purchase, I admit the corners of my mouth turned down just a tad.

I have mixed feelings about this vegetable. I mean, not this particular one, but in general. I love to eat butternut squash, but I loathe to cook it.  Most people, of course, have their vegetable banes. For many it is the onion or hot pepper, which can cause physical discomfort. For others it is mushrooms, which need to be cleaned finickily (no, that isn’t actually a word, but you know what I mean). For some others there are things like the celery root, which are so intimidating and ugly they look like no possible good can come of them. But for me, it is the butternut (and other hard-shelled) squash.

First, there is the death-defying process of cutting that sucker open: you need a huge sharp knife and all the brute force you can muster to cut through this gourd as it rolls around on your chopping board. Then you need to clean out the slimy seeds and stringy bits that refuse to detach from the squash meat. Then you need to peel it, and I will take this moment to remind you that the butternut is not only really thick-skinned, but also shaped like a giant peanut, factors which do not make for easy peeling. From there on, it isn’t too bad: roast it (or you could roast it in the skin, I suppose), sautée it, boil it in a soup…. But it is the prep that daunts me. That said, there is definitely a sense of accomplishment I experience after cooking this squash that I don’t get from cooking, say, zucchini.

And so I persevered…well, I procrastinated until Wednesday, when I persevered. I must have been feeling particularly plucky because I decided to make up a recipe, rather than follow a recipe from my cookbook library or from my favorite online recipe resource, Epicurious. Hubs called me on his way home to ask if I needed anything from the store. Put on the spot, I extemporaneously asked for fresh sage and blue cheese. My thought was to make a roasted butternut squash and sage pasta topped with crumbled blue cheese. Sounds delish, no?

I decided to cube the squash before roasting. This way it would roast faster, but also there would be a higher proportion of caramelization in each bite of squash in the dish. Half the squash made about 5 cups of cubes, which was enough, so I left the other half whole and decided to roast it to use some other day evening the road. I tossed the cubes with some fresh sage, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar, which I thought would add more sticky, rich, sweetness without adding sugar. Then I roasted the heck out of it.

In the meantime, I changed my mind about the base of the dish, opting for red quinoa rather than pasta. I cooked that using vegetable broth rather than water to add a little more flavor, but otherwise cooked according to package directions.

About halfway through the roasting process, I basted the squash with some leftover vegetable stock (trying to recreate the effect this technique had on some great roasted vegetables the Hubs once made), and then added in some dried cranberries and pecans. When the squash was almost done, I tasted it to see if it needed salt. It didn’t (the broth provided enough), but I did grind a little black pepper over it.

Once the squash was done, I plated the quinoa, put some squash on top, then topped it all with some more fresh sage and a little sprinkling of blue cheese. The result of all this effort was a little…underwhelming. The flavors just didn’t work well together, unfortunately. In theory, they really should: earthy quinoa, sweet butternut squash, crunchy pecans, fresh sage, sharp, creamy blue cheese. It sounds like a winsome combination, but it just wasn’t. Sigh! I guess not every dish can be a winner.

A silver lining: the butternut squash on its own was truly delicious. With the sage, cranberries, and pecans, it tasted of the essence of the Thanksgiving meal. And then it dawned on me: this recipe (sans quinoa and cheese), mixed with cubed bread, would make an awesome stuffing!

This Aha! moment alone made the trouble of preparing and the near-mediocrity in eating this meal more than worth it. I am not cooking for Thanksgiving this year, but who says you have to wait until then to make stuffing? Look at me: I am actually inviting, indeed, hastening towards, a new butternut-squash cooking experience! Call me an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a steel-hard, peanut-shaped shell. Or: A hard (butter)nut to crack.