Last Sunday, February 24th, I attended, along with the Hubs and my friend (and future contributer) who wishes to be referred to, for the purposes of this blog, as The Predicate (what can I say, my friends are nuts for grammar!) the Fondue Takedown, hosted by the inimitable Matt Timms at the Slipper Room, a venue perhaps better known burlesque queens than cheese kings. We arrived about 20 minutes late, hoping we hadn’t missed anything. We hadn’t, and indeed the natives were growing restless. Timms made an announcement right after our arrival that the fondue was taking longer to cook than planned, but that they hoped to get started soon.
I walked over to the long fondue-cooking table and saw the problem: each of the 8 entrants were cooking their fondue in a large aluminum roasting pan over 2 sterno flames! Such are the aggravations of hosting a cooking event at a burlesque bar–no real cooking facilities. I peered wearily at the still-watery offerings and the accompanying signage. Some of the posted recipes were unusual (entry #8-brie and apple brandy, #6 goat cheese and herb), some complex (#1-beer and jalapeño reduction, with gruyere, cheddar, jack, and non-reduced Brooklyn Brewery beer, #7-veggie pizza fondue), some traditional (#3 and #5-gruyere and wine), some mysterious (#2-”magic, secret fondue” and #4-never got beyond the inedible watery-soup stage).
A bit to my amazement, I must admit, all but one of the fondues did get to an acceptable stage of doneness. Timms made the announcement that we could now descend upon the fondue table, with a reminder: no double dipping; plenty of skewers to go around! Dairy-induced pandemonium ensued. Lines formed on each end and both sides of the long table, everyone heading towards the center, and people wielding wooden skewers elbowed their way to the table from the sides as well. It was like cross-town traffic on Fromage Boulevard–nobody was going anywhere. The Predicate and I gave up trying, which was an especial disappointment to me, not only because I paid $10 to get in, but also because I had intended to write about the event for this blog, and not actually getting to taste the fondue would make that difficult.
But, Hubs came to the rescue. He dove into the crowd armed only with a bread-studded skewer and miraculously emerged with it laden in gooey fondue for me to sample. This is the method by which I tasted all of the entries. My hero! My very own Sir Lance-a-lot of fondue! (Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Cheese does this to me.) The Predicate waited until the crowds had thinned, and the fondue had thickened, to sample what was left.
I personally like #3 the best. It was one of the more traditional ones–gruyere, swiss, and white wine–but it had a pleasant, fruity note that I found appealing, plus the texture was great (some of them, notably the veggie pizza fondue, had a grainy texture). However, entry #1, with the beer and jalapeño reduction, won the contest. That fondue was indeed delicious, but I must admit that I didn’t taste the beer or jalapeño, so the reduction, etc., seemed like a bit of wasted effort. For a recipe so complicated, it was funny that it was less nuanced in flavor (in my opinion) than the relatively straightforward one. But who am I to say?
The loser of the event (#4–inedible watery soup fondue–zero votes!) received a fondue cookbook as an appropriate consolation prize. The winner won 50 bucks. Everyone in between got nothing at all except the honor of having participated. In the end, it was a fun event and Matt Timms is a very capable, funny, and irreverent host. I might suggest that the tasting be organized differently in the future (Hubs suggested that perhaps the chefs could stand behind their creation and pass out samples to people as they orderly shuffle down the table, which I thought was a good idea). But maybe the mayhem is part of the challenge of it.
Keep an eye out for Timms’ other events, like the Chili Takedowns.
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