Thanks to Iron Chef on the Food Network, Anthelme Brilliat-Savarin is now famous for having said “Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are.”
So, on the occasion of primaries in my state, and many of yours, I thought I would take a look at what the major candidates most like to cook (according to an AP poll taken last year), to see if it teaches us about who they are.
Hillary Clinton: Soft boiled eggs.
Now, the eggs I understand. They are sort of comforting, familiar, and maybe a touch maternal. But she should have balanced that by saying she likes them fried over-hard, or better yet, hard-boiled. Hard-boiled implies tough on defense, no?
Barack Obama: Chili.
Really? Barack, think about it. Do you really want to project that you like things that are full of beans? Honestly, man–gassy, gassy beans.
Mitt Romney: Hot Dog.
Singular, not plural. Implies selfishness and/or poor planning. Doesn’t the rest of the country get hot dogs too? Apparently not. And I bet this rich dude tops his hot dog with caviar and shaved truffles.
John McCain: Baby-back ribs.
I want my baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back. Now, I am a Democrat, and definitely not voting for him, but this was the best food choice among the current major candidates. It also fits him to a T: tough, spicy, and you might need a bib to digest him, America!
(An aside. The reason Bill Richardson is no longer in the race? His favorite thing to cook: Diet Milkshake.)
Now that you have this essential information, go out and vote, why don’t you!
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